It’s Morphin’ Time!

Don’t act all cool. If you’re around my age, you caught a couple seasons of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers before it became Extreme Outer Space Ninja Morphin Mighty Dino Blaster Intergalactic….Rangers.

Remember Tommy, the Green/White Ranger?  He’s an MMA fighter now.  The 35 year old wants to make it to the UFC.  That might make you chuckle. I’ll give you a second to recover.  I recommend you pray to whatever god you pray to for forgiveness, because the flute-dagger wielding protector of earth looks like this now:

THAT'S THE GREEN RANGER? Color me piss yellow.

I wonder if any opposing fighters try to make their monsters grow when it comes time to battle?  How about that studly Red Ranger, Jason?

Red Ranger: Then and Now.

Yikes.  Time can be as unfriendly as an angry alien Asian woman from outer space and her brainy boyfriend.

LT2 & Westbrook – Where they end up? Part I.

It’s only Tuesday and it has already been a very busy week in NFL news.

The Eagles have finally parted ways with oft-injured Brian Westbrook.  The Chargers cut possibly the best running back of the past decade, LaDainian Tomlinson.

I like to speculate.  Won’t you join me?

Tomlinson has made it very clear that the most important thing to him is to win a Super Bowl.  If you want to trust him and unless someone like say…oh, Al Davis throws too much money at him, we can use his dedication to victory to weed out a lot of teams.

Out of the LT race include: BUF, CIN, CLE, KC, OAK, WAS, CHI, DET, CAR, TB, STL, SF, SEA.

Now let’s look at team need.  The following don’t really need a running back or even a back-up: MIA, NYJ, BAL, PIT, JAX, DAL, NO.

That leaves: NE, HOU, IND, DEN, NYG, PHI, GB, ATL, MIN, ARI.

The team that jumps at everyone would be the Patriots.  I don’t like the fit here.  I think the Patriots look to get younger and stand by the “we can put anyone at running back and be okay” mentality.  I don’t like ATL/MIN/IND because of depth and lack of starting time available.  The Vikings could surprise everyone, appearing to let Chester Taylor go, and grab LT.  (How’s that for an iconic backfield?  LT & AP?)  So, if you held a gun up to my head, and asked me, in order I’d go:

5. Eagles – They just got rid of an injury prone vet, but could use a strong back-up.  The Eagles love to throw, LT loves to catch.

4. Texans – They’re a fringe team because of their chances of getting to a Super Bowl next year, but boy howdy, do they need some depth at running back.  Steve Slaton isn’t cutting it.  LT would became the number one in a rotating backfield.    

3. Colts – Manning’s arm empties the box a little for LT.  Donald Brown is the future, Addai seems to be on the outs.  LT could provide great depth.

2. Giants - What happened to Brandon Jacobs last year?  Ahmad Bradshaw’s body won’t let him be the number one.  There is a great chance to play for one of the marquee teams in the NFL, in a role that wouldn’t be too demanding, but still rewarding. 

1. Packers – Ryan Grant is really inconsistent.  The Packers need to even out their run-throw ratio, but if they don’t want to, Tomlinson can catch some balls.  They have an underrated offensive line, a strong quarterback and a rising defense.  The Packers have a good chance of going deep in the playoffs, and while nothing is guaranteed it would appear as though LT would get signficant playing time.

EDITORS EDIT: I wouldn’t be surprised if the Redskins picked him up.  They aren’t Super Bowl contenders, but money talks.  The Jets hate Thomas Jones for some reason, so they’re always a possibility.  The Bengals also strike me as team that could make a surprise move. 

Tomorrow, we’ll tackle where Westbrook will go.

why so serious: Paris Hilton

Sometimes celebrities wear too much make-up.  I take that opportunity to make them look like The Joker.  There really isn’t a reason to do so, but there isn’t really a reason to do a lot of shit in life.

Why so serious, Paris?

why so serious: Beyonce?

Sometimes celebrities wear too much make-up.  I take that opportunity to make them look like The Joker.  There really isn’t a reason to do so, but there isn’t really a reason to do a lot of shit in life.

Why so serious, Beyonce?

MusicBlogocide 2010

 

TehBlogg moved to WordPress from Blogspot sometime last year.

WordPress is far superior, allows more customization, looks more professional and doesn’t suddenly delete your blog without notice.

Blogger, owned by Google, recently went all Hitler on some of their members.  The members were running music blogs, that often linked MP3 files that were discussed in posts.  According to Blogger’s Terms of Service, that’s a no-no.

Here at TehBlogg, we keep it legal.  So, why is this worth posting?

Some of Tehblogg’s good friends that are/were on Blogspot have fallen victim.  Or maybe they were the criminal? Fly As a Kite, An ATLien in Buenos Aires and The Buenos Aires Pub Crawl Blog have all disappeared.  Still waiting on confirmation, but it looks like the lost blogs are thanks to MusicBlogocide 2010.

You mess with the bull you get the horns, you sleep in the bed you make, blah, blah, blah, blah.  I’m just sad that I can’t read their posts anymore.  So here’s my open invitation to come to the good side and join WordPress!  It’s more awesome-er, fellas!

Autocomplete Me Totally Completes Me

Haven't we all felt like a pig shat in our head at some point?

Have you ever went to Google the best way to rape a woman and came across the best way to reheat a turkey?

…

I mean…have you ever went to Google the best way to reheat a turkey and came across the best way to rape a woman?  Because reheating food is okay.  And raping women isn’t.

Anywhoo,  Google seems to be loaded with odd autocomplete ideas.  I suppose it’s intended to reduce the number of letters your fingers type.  Or maybe Google employees have an excellent sense of humor.  Or maybe 663,000 people really did turn to Google and searched “oh no someone ate spaghetti in the shower again.”

Who am I to judge?  I swear to god if you promised me a delicious plate of pasta, but designated a strange and inappropriate place to eat it, you can bet a delicious plate of pasta I’d accept your offer. Why, that would give me two delicious plates of pasta!

AUTOCOMPLETEME.COM has taken the task of compiling the most hilarious Google autocompletes out there.  Sure, you could randomly put words into Google and discover your own.  But if you’re going to be lazy and look to the search engine’s autocomplete for shits and grins, why not turn to the autocomplete’s complete autocomplete-riffic unofficial blog?

Oh, man. Who banged Johnny 5's robo-woman? Yeah, that's a Short Circuit reference. Look it up.

Big-ups to Bruce for sending me to this most excellent website.  Thank you, Bruce.  YOU auto-complete me.

why so serious: Amy Winehouse

Sometimes celebrities wear too much make-up.  I take that opportunity to make them look like The Joker.  There really isn’t a reason to do so, but there isn’t really a reason to do a lot of shit in life.

Why so serious, Amy?

Wow. Not much I had to do here.

Maybe Being a Detroit Lion Isn’t Such a Bad Thing

As a Lions fan, Matthew Stafford is slowly becoming my hero.

As a man, Matthew Stafford is officially my hero.

This is obviously all for an Axe event or whatever, but would you care why this was happening if this was happening to you?  My favorite part is when she shakes his hand, I guess they hadn’t even met yet.  If anyone sees Marisa around, tell her my hair is full, clean and very touchable as well.  If anyone sees my wife around, don’t tell her I said that.

The Future of Mike Vick

Way back in July, way back before this past NFL season began, I took a look at what teams were a best fit for Mike Vick.

As it turns out, I was completly wrong.  Or maybe just a year early. Vick is still technically signed with the Philly Eagles through next season, but there’s some trade rumors floating around.  The two teams that are sticking  in the Vick-to-? debate are St. Louis and Buffalo.

In July, St. Louis was number two on my educated-guess list.  Miami was number one, which was a mistake.  Dade County isn’t a good spot for someone trying to stay out of trouble. Let’s narrow it down to five teams and play the guessing game one more time.

5. CAROLINA PANTHERS – Jake Delhomme is REALLY not working.  Back in July I said: “Delhomme might be on his way out?  Strong run game.  Mild weather.  Great #1 WR.”  I’ll stick with that.

4. ARIZONA CARDINALS – With Warner retiring, the Cardinals are a new team to consider.  I don’t think Vick would start immediately, but he would provide some kind of back-up to Leinart as the Cards shape a young-soon-to-be-drafted QB.

3. PHILDELPHIA EAGLES – There’s a really good possibility that he stays in Philly.  McNabb has said that Vick is ready to start…on another team, which oozes with insecurity.  But McNabb had a decent season last year and Vick had a role that helped his team.  The Eagles have always stuck with a “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” mentality.  Westbrook is getting old?  Draft a mini-Westbrook in McCoy.  We don’t have receivers?  Keep passing it.  McNabb gets us to the playoffs.  Keep him around,  Coach Andy Reid looks like the Kool Aid dude with a waffle house menu? So what, OH YEAH, he’s winning.  The Eagles had a nice run in 2009, why not keep Vick around?  He won’t bring you much in a trade anyways.  Unless Al Davis wants him.

2. BUFFALO BILLS - They were way back at the end of my 11 team list.  Trent Edwards has taken a giant step backwards.  The Bills have a lot of needs and play in a very tough division.  Vick would be a good value in trade and allows them to concentrate on other needs in the draft.  And according to Willis McGahee, Buffalo doesn’t have too much going on, so Vick could keep his nose clean.

1. ST. LOUIS RAMS – It’s not a secret that the Rams are considering a very studly DT with their first round pick this year, but they need a quarterback.  Marc Bulger looks even more uncertain to start next year than he did last year.  Again, as I previously said: “Good running game, fast indoor turf.  St. Louis also needs to make a change to get a spark going.  This would be a good match-up. “

So I’d like to officially add to the Vick-to-Rams hype.  I think it’s the best situation for both teams.  Where do YOU think Vick will end up?

‘The Crazies’ Looks Crazy Good

I caught the trailer for “The Crazies” before watching my netflix-ed 500 Days of Summer (A fantastic movie, bee-tee-double-u).

If you’re old enough you might recognize this as a remake of George Romero’s 19-seventy-something original.  If you’re young enough, you don’t really care about that.  But really, with today’s Hollywood big money budgets and special effect power a movie like this needs a remake.  Here’s a synopsis I came across from TrailerAddict.Com:

“Imagine living in a small town where everything is safe and happy… until suddenly it isn’t. Imagine your friends and neighbors going quickly and horrifically insane. In a terrifying tale of the “American Dream” gone horribly wrong, four friends find themselves trapped in their hometown in The Crazies…”

EDITOR’S EDIT: Just a quick gripe.  As haunting as it is, the piano driven track “Mad World,” is a tad overused in movie and video game trailers.  (See Gears of War)  It works for this trailer, but I’m just sayin… 

This kind of movie is right up my alley.  Society turning on itself.  Military stepping in and overboard.  Oh.  And mother-fuckin’ zombies.  I’m not expecting a beautiful script, superior acting or mind blowing videography.  I think the plot will engage me for 2 hours or whatever.  The Crazies hits theaters  February 26, 2010.